Where It Started

Let me start at the beginning and let you in on the secret of the Live Free Journey. Back on January 1st of 2010, when everyone was starting off on their resolutions, I found myself stuck. I really wanted the next year to be better but, I didn't know where to start. 2009 had been a year of wandering. I had a job and I was thankful for it but it did not have much of a future. The economy was in the tank and so was I. I pursued all kinds of things to try and find fullfillment. A new truck helped for a minute, but it didn't last. The new wore off and it used a lot of fuel for someone who wasn't making a whole lot of money. I went away to the country for a weekend but, my restlessness followed me there as well. I knew I was depressed, my wife knew I was depressed, even the dog knew I was depressed. I was standing on the threshold of either a new start or a very quick decline into deeper darkness. In a moment of guilt or utter frustration I made a decision.
I decided to start by returning to church on a regular basis. My wife had been going to a church near our home but, I hadn't been going with her. She seemed to really like it. Looking back now returning to church seems like such an obvious answer. Certainly one that a life long Christian and church attender should have picked up on much sooner. You see, I had gotten lazy and guilty in my faith. Essentially I was telling God, "I don't want to be around you right now. I want to try my own ways and when I get things straight I'll come back to you."
The church we attended, West Ridge Community Church, was quite a bit different from the church I'd grown up in. At first, this made me very skeptical but, after a couple of weeks I began to open up to it. I really loved the music. It reminded me of the music of my childhood. My father loved Rich Mullins. And Rich's music was in the background of a lot of my childhood memories. Come to find out the Pastor in Charge of Music was a good friend of Rich's that spent a good deal of time in music with Rich. Hence the memories it spurred in me. These memories led me to a study of Rich's life. There is a whole lot to discuss there. I'll cover it in a separate post.
It was in this Church where God began to soften my heart. I began to see a small glimpse of what I was seeking. The church was very laid back and it was easy to slip in and slip out without drawing attention. No one knew who I was and therefor had no expectations of me.
The church's attitude about money was different from what I had heard elsewhere. They talked about God not needing your money and that He wants your heart. They often said they didn't want you to give unless you had reached the point in your faith were you WANTED to give and could do so gladly. Well since I wasn't happy about giving, I didn't! Instead, I turned my attention to the music and the message (occasionally). But before too long something in me began to change in a big way. The change led me a bit closer to the Secret of the Live Free Journey. Here's a clue. . . It's Not About Me!