I'd like to speak more to the gentleman. Not that this doesn't apply to you ladies as well, but men I charge you with this responsibility. Actually, I believe God calls you to this. Please protect your wife and family with disability/life insurance. No I am not selling insurance. What I am pushing is our charge as men to love our wives and look out for them. What kind of a mess would you leave to your spouse if you were the victim of "The Bus Incident." The Bus Incident is what we say at work when we want to explain a situation to a coworker "just in case I get hit by a bus tonight on my way home," they'll know what is going on tomorrow.
Please be patient with me as I relate a couple of personal stories on this one. 8 years ago this July my father passed away after a 33 month battle with ALS (Lou Gerhigs Disease). My father was the best! That is him in the photo above. Yes, that is little me too! That was the first time he took me hunting. He loved our family more than I'll ever realize. He looked out for us. Long before he was ever ill, he made the small gesture of love to my mother and purchased good disability and good life insurance. If he had waited till he was sick he would never have been able to get it. Immediately after diagnosis, he set about arranging his estate so that it would be able to care for my mother after he was gone. For those that don't know, ALS has no cure. It is a death sentence. He knew that if he was the average case he'd be gone in 18-36 months. He probably waited a little too long to get his estate plan arranged but, he took the time, when he was literally sick and tired, and he loved my mom in this way! With all of the emotions we went through as a family, it was wonderful that mom didn't have to worry about the money end of it. I am so thankful for the last 3 years of my dad's life. We had time to say all that we wanted to say. He left this life and entered the next knowing his wife was taken care of.
Men!!! Are you still listening??? My father was in fantastic physical shape. At the age of 48, he was in better shape than most 35 year olds. He ate the right things and exercised. Through no fault of his own he contracted a disease that turned him into an old man that could not do anything for himself almost overnight. He could not even talk for the last several months! Don't think this can't happen to any of us! Worse yet, you may not get 33 months. You may only get the blink of an eye before the bus hits you and you realize your a goner! Take care of this today! Make it a priority.
My father told me in the months prior to my marriage that I needed to make this a priority. I am so glad that I did. Every time I see that money leave my account each month to pay the premium, it let's me know Cole will be okay, from a money standpoint, if I get hit by a bus. For that matter Cole's policy is in there too and it let's me know I'll be alright as well.
The last story I'll relate to this topic is this, last Oct. 31st, a lady in my office was killed, on her way home from church, in a car wreck. She was on the narrow country road near her home and as she crested the top of the hill at 40mph she discovered an SUV coming at 60mph that had drifted to her side of an already narrow road. She took the hit just to the drivers side of head-on as she swerved for the ditch. Just like that she was gone. I don't think that it ever crossed her mind that today was her day. 52 years young and in great shape. She used to walk after work down the country road our shop sits on. We used to tell her to be careful not to get hit while walking there.
Her name was Lee. I don't know about her financial/insurance situation but I know she left behind an aging mother that she was the primary caregiver for, a boyfriend, and 2 daughters in there 20's. This is the group that had to come up with the cash for her final expenses. If there was no insurance in this situation, that is potentially a several thousand dollar or more burden that was laid on that group. I tell you this because I want you to realize just how quick this can happen. Whether your 20 and engaged or 60 with adult kids, care for your family in this way. They will have it hard enough dealing with the loss of you! Give them this one last gift to help. If you are independantly wealthy and leaving them a large estate you may disregard this request. You've already covered it.
What I took away from Lee's death was that I don't know how long I have left. Maybe 70 more years maybe 70 more seconds! While the context here is money and providing for our families, that is what I'll stick with in closing. I want to know that Cole will be able to maintain financially in my absence, what we have worked so hard to build together. I want her to be able to continue her way of life and not have to worry about the mortgage, bills, or funeral expenses. You could add to all of this an estate plan as well. As much fun as it is to talk about it, you should. Communicate with your family on what the arrangements are. This is important! Do it today!
In the precious photo you actually make your dad look tall! ;-) I really miss him. Really miss him. I know its been a few years and grief tends to take on different meaning and form. There are moments I think of my father who died in 1992 and so much comes back to me. He and I had a love for a good joke. Many times in the past 19 years I've heard a joke I knew he would love and we would laugh heartily at together. I have reached for a phone to dial him...ins't that interesting. Then I catch myself. At first I cried, then later felt sadness, and now when it happens I smile.
ReplyDeleteHe provided for his wife too, but who would have thought she would have lived to 90 and still be in good health? Who would have thought United Air Lines would have restructured their retirement programs? Who would have thought the housing market would have crashed, retirement funds disappear, medicare benefits shrink? Dad could not have known. Though Mom is still all right...the best laid plans of mice and men, you know.
I think your post is excellent. It brings up a very important aspect of our modern lives. Yet, insurance and estate planning, especially for the middle class, is the product of a culture of plenty. It has not been so throughout human history. Death came statistically earlier (average life expectancies were in the early 30's), money could not be accumulated in the form of savings, community safety nets didn't exist. Is it no wonder that in James Chapter 1 true religion is said to be taking care of the widows and orphans in their need. That, for a man of minimal subsistence was an act of agape and faith. I do remember having a rather intense discussion on religion with my buddy Tom on this point. We had some sweet talks, some pretty heated too. I loved that and I think he did too. We stretched each other some. Most of the time he bested me, though I was pretty good at asking him questions he had to struggle through.
So, Dan...I like your post, but. Let's hear about what it was your father really left for his family that was "most important". You touch on it, but his heritage to his wife and children actually had little to do with finances. I had many employees working for me who were hand to mouth and week to week on their paychecks. They had no estate, they had no hope of estate building, they could not afford a monthly insurance payment for basic medical expenses. What would you say they should leave behind for their families in the event of their unexpected death? Talk to us in detail about that. That too would make an interesting post. xoxo
I'd still probably make Dad look tall. I can also relate to the picking up the phone to call moment. I've had those too.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that there was much more than money to my father's legacy. However, in sticking with the theme of this blog of personal finance and debt free living, I chose to stick with the financial end of it. It was really not meant to be a post on Dad's or Lee's legacy. It was meant to emphasize the importance of life insurance in order to protect those we love.
Ultimately you are absolutely correct that life happens. Pension plans get cut, markets crash and the best plans of man can vanish in an instant. However, this is not an excuse from making our best efforts at protecting our family financially or otherwise for that matter. In another post, I mentioned where our ultimate future security is found.
I also believe that there is a large responsiblity placed on the Church to care for the widows and orphans as well.(If I may add to that list single moms and spouses of our soldiers overseas) If everyone would tithe we could really do an outstanding job of it. But the average Christian gives about 2-3%. If everyone would give above the tithe in accordance with the Grace they've received we could do even more. However a lot of our churches are broke too! In order to fund the church and care for those less fortunate, someone has to go out and get some wealth.
I agree insurance is a product of a "culture of plenty." There is nothing evil about wealth. Some of the most Godly people in Scripture were wealthy. I know poor people who are nasty selfish people. I know rich people who are nasty selfish people. It isn't the money's fault. Money will only enhance the attitude that is already present (Dave Ramesy).
I would also add that the United States for all its faults is still the "Land of Opportunity". If it isn't why are some many people risking their lives to get here?
ReplyDeleteThat being said, as for those struggling to even make premium payments for health insurance, the majority of the cases it is the result of poor financial decision making and behavior. Either on the expenses side or the income side of the equation. If you don't like your job, go get a better one. If you can't find one create one for yourself. Don't through a pity party for yourself. I have two guys at work that just opted out of our insurance program because the couldn't afford it. Yet somehow they find the money every month to make the payment on the new cars they bought this year. That is just STUPID. I've made my own stupid financial choices. I've been there. Again with a few exceptions, this is an issue of priorities. Choose to live on less than one makes. It is just good sense. Yet even our government can't get this right on either side of the aisle. Yet someone reading this will label me a Cold Hearted Capitalist Pig I'm sure. Or worse Republican.
In the exception cases, for example the handicapped or widows & orpans, this is where the Church needs to step up and Christians as individuals need to step in and show the love of God.
Sadly, I don't often reflect this in my life as well as I'd like. But, I'll say this, as we've started to win with our finances, we have begun to seek opportunities to bless others with what God has given us. We can do something about those situations now because we've cleaned up our own mess! Dave taught us a phrase that works several different ways. The original is the quote from the bottom of the blog, "Live like no one else so later you can LIVE like no one else." You can substitue the words Give, Work, Drive, etc for the word Live as well. I love to be able to GIVE like no one else. It has made amazing changes in my spiritual life. I want Cole to be able to continue to do those things after I am gone. As I am sure you'd like your wife to as well.
I appreciate the thought you put into your comment. You really made me think. It was a good exercise for me. Thanks!
One more thought for you. If my father died broke and penniless or as the wealthiest man since Solomn, the most important thing his legacy taught me would still be the same. The one thing was to love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. And to love my neighbor as myself. You see he gave me an education. I am not talking about college. I am talking about his amazing ability to find teachable moments in every day life and maximize them for my benefit. I didn't see it at the time but I see it now. At the core of all those lessons was love. Dad ran his race really well. He finished strong like the Apostle Paul talks about at the end of his life. That is what I strive for. To, as Russ said at Dad's memorial service, pick up the baton Dad passed to me and run my leg of the race with as much passion and love for God as I can muster. To develope in the lives of any kids God may bless me with this same passion and love so that they take the baton from me and keep it going. Moreso than even my own future children, but in the lives of anyone who crosses my path. That is the legacy Dad left me.
ReplyDeleteHe did have an amazing mind didn't he though? He read like some one was going to steal his ability to read soon. I've never met anyone who reads like he did. It is why he could hold his own in almost any conversation. It is why he was so stinkin' hard to argue with. He just knew so much! I am trying really hard to develope this quality of being a reader in my own life. I am really enjoying it so far. Dave Ramsey said, "Winners Read!" I want to win. But, more importantly I want to finish strong and go home to my heavenly Father's arms and here that special phrase, "Well done! My good and faithful servant." Thanks again Bruce! You were a great friend to my father and you are a great friend to me!
"Knowledge for the sake of knowledge is idolatry." A Bible professor said that at Wheaton during Emily's orientation. I've never forgotten that. So, I read with purpose. So did your father. To honor the Lord in all things, to use knowledge for His purposes, that is what we followers of Christ should aspire to.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with you on one of your points. Perhaps it is only because I am thinking globally and you are viewing the issue through the prism of the American experience. At issue is the root cause of poverty. There is poverty in America. As Americans of the middle class we tend to blame those who are poor for their situation. We say things such as you have said, "Get another job." We say that they make stupid decisions. Some do for sure. I suggest to your thinking that the causes of and issues imbedded in poverty are much deeper and much more insidious. I would suggest that the core cause of poverty does not lay at the feet of the poor but rather in the sins of those who have plenty.
We took our youth group to Monterey, Mexico one year. Our job was to put on a vacation Bible School for some orphans. Truth was that most of the children there were not actually orphans. They had parents who stood outside the walls of the compound every evening and simply watched. The parents had turned their children over to this mission, given up their rights to them, because they had no resources with which to care for and raise their own children. The parents had other children who they kept with them only because those children were older and could no longer stay at the mission or could help find food or earn some money. Sadly, many of those children were forced into the sex trafficking trade.
One of our young boys, a very bright fellow from a most conservative home, could not engage the kids nor their parents. He focused solely on the filth, the cardboard shacks, the seemingly illogical pattern of the lives of those who were poor. His only comments were, "How can anyone live like this?", "Why don't they get a job that pays them more?", "Why do they just sit around and do nothing?", "Why are they so lazy?"
What this young man could not see was the "logic" and love of the parents in putting their precious children into the orphanage in the first place. What he could not see was that his failure to engage was symptomatic of the state of the culture that surrounded these people. Not only did he fail to engage, but so did the rest of Mexican society, at least the society that had the educational and economic resources to actually help. There are many fine, German made cars driving around the streets of Mexican cities. Those cars are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. The people in the slums live on pennies a day, every day, every year, for their entire lives. When a revolt of sorts begins it is labeled socialist, communist, anti-social, and the army comes out in the name of social stability, paid for by the wealthy, and crushes it. The poor get shot or are placed in appalling prisons. The wealthy go back to social stability and to their armored cars.
ReplyDeleteWhat the poor have is NOTHING. I can not over state that. They were ALL born into NOTHING. No education. No running water. No nuclear family. No sense of safety. No belief in the future. No clean clothes. Little food that is wholesome. A religious system that teaches passivity and guilts them for not giving 10% of what they have. I could go on and on. Like Job who was blamed for his suffering, the poor are blamed for their state. Unlike Job, they fall into total despair. It amazes me that mass suicides don't occur more often.
I think we need to look at social systems with an eye towards social justice. I am continually amazed at how a Mormon, Glen Beck, can influence my fellow followers of Christ. He called upon all Christians to leave churches that taught social justice. It is my view that most of the poverty we see in the world today, and the social turmoil, is a direct result of sinful social and economic systems which create a class of lepers that must not be engaged, must be kept in their places, must not be allowed access to the country's (Father's) table.
I get to this because I see insurance at some level as a social construct that is a luxury. At one level the interest on the money invested in insurance companies, which pays the premiums when due, may be money earned on the backs of the working poor. With this view an insurance payment is "something for nothing" to the recipient. Those poor live in Mexico, China, Argentina, Angola, Egypt, Jordan...and the like, some in the United States of America. Where is the justice in that? I am not saying that insurance is evil in and of itself. I am just suggesting that we read and think deeply into this situation, that at all levels we seek to honor the Lord in how we think, and more importantly, in how we act towards the poor.
And as for your response to my first comment posted...you pretty much hit a home run, and, your father "did it right." He lived his life for Jesus first, others secondly. We express our faith differently as we all see the way we see. Our actions follow our views. The greatest heritage we can leave is one of service, in Jesus' name, to others...and the poor, sadly need our service the most. Treasures stored up in heaven where moth, rust, thief and not destroy them; that is the security we are to seek and it is a security that is one of "faith."
Glad you're back to posting.
By the way...your mom's done it, and is doing it right too!
ReplyDeleteAs you point out, I do view this from an American perspective. It is the only one I've experienced. It would be difficult for me to see it any other way. I do not claim any expertise on the cultures of other countries. I've never left the US. I have visited a Reservation in Northern Minnesota and briefly seen the poverty there. You are absolutely correct that there are some deeper issues there. Yes some of the fault does belong to those with plenty.
ReplyDeleteHowever, at the root of all of this is sin. Sins of the rich and the poor and everyone in the middle.
Those born into poverty certainly face an enormous, even impossible challenge. Those are another example of the exception situations that I was referring to. Those exceptions are where the Body of Christ needs to be the hands and feet and get it done. Right the wrongs. I am all for that. Yet to place all the blame at the feet of the wealthy would be a gross generalization. There are many with plenty that give incredible things to those cultures. Things like the mission you describe. Del has a friend that supports the building of schools in Africa. Our former pastor is now a missionary in Haiti at the Sonlight School. People from our church community send more than just money into Haiti. We send hands, feet, supplies, even much needed plumbers and handymen in order to help improve their situation. If any of these exception situations, as I have been calling them, are going to be fixed, it will only come through the power of Christ working through his people on the earth.
To be perfectly honest, it is overwhelming to me to just think of my immediate community here in Elgin. There is tremendous poverty right here at home. People born into drug families, single parent families, disabled parents, etc. There are people on my street in the middle of losing everything they have including their home, marriage, jobs, faith and hope. It is often hard for me to see past that to the far away places of the world.
ReplyDeleteTo be brutaly honest, I have not done much for those right here in town. That's just me being honest about my own sin. It is hard to know where to start.
While speaking on the care of widows in 1 Timothy 5 the Bible says that "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." That 1 Timothy 5 passage is loaded with info on managing resources. Verse 3 says "Give proper recognition to those widows who are REALLY in need." He later gives quailifacations for how to determine this. By the way my mom would not have qualified. Verse 9 says she is too young!
Tony Evans often speaks about being a "messed up man, living in a messed up house, in a messed up neighborhood, in a messed up city, in a messed up county, in a messed up state, in a messed up country, in a messed up world!" I need to work on my own heart. Better yet, let God work on my own heart. Then my family will change,then I can contribute to change in my neighborhood, which will lead to change in my city so on and so on. It is not that I don't care about the starving and the poor. I do. I am just not very good at showing it. I love my wife very much. Anyone who knows me knows that's true. But, ask Nicole if she ALWAYS FEELS it. She might lie to be kind to me but, the truth is sometimes I am hurtful to her. It is unintentional but it happens. I am a fallen man living in a fallen world.
This does not mean that I shouldn't continue to try and improve. Both as a husband and a philanthropist. But even the good samaritan had money to give. How else could he have cared for the other man. Someone has to have it in order to give it. It can't work any other way.
As long as I have breath I will strive to allow the Spirit of God to work in my heart and make me into the man he wants me to be. I am convinced that part of becoming that man is to provide for my family and protect them. Insurance is a part of my plan to protect them. So is Shelby the Shepherd! One day, if I follow the financial management principles in Proverbs, I can be self insured and cease sending those payments to the insurance company. Until then I view it as a prudent way to not let Cole fall on the good graces of a Church that is full of fallen people. I don't want her to be dependent on that. I'd rather her be able to continue being a supporter of ministry in my absence. I want that as part of my legacy. Daniel R Moore; A zealous supporter of the Cause of Christ. Might be a good tombstone read one day.
One more thought. I'd like to make a distinction going forward. There is a big difference between Broke People and Poor People. Broke people are in a temporary position of poverty but, they are just passing through. They don't want to stay that way and are moving on.
ReplyDeletePoor people is the group we have been discusing. Those born into poverty with little or no hope at all of escaping it without outside influence.
This blog is intended for the first group. Broke people that want to move into wealth. I think some of our difference of opinion is simple a mixing of terms. I've been broke. I don't like it. I don't want to ever go back to that. Yet I've never been poor.
God gave me a mind and is teaching me some good sense about resource management. After all it is all His. I just manage it. He could take it all if he wanted to. I want to pass on what I've learned in order to help other broke people escape debt or the "Cheetah" as Dave Ramsey refers to it.
I do not aspire to solve the problems of Global Poverty. I am not equipped to tackle that task. I can only offer relatively uneducated opinon on that topic. I will however be open to God's leading if he so chooses to plot my course in that direction in the future.
But, for right now my focus will continue to be on the issues that are hitting my immediate community hard. To share the love of Christ and his principles of personal finance with those I have a direct impact on. As more Americans learn to win with their money, I believe we will see Americans become the most generous people on the face of the earth. I think we probably already are in the sense that we give more than any other country. But, the Bible says, "To whom much is given much is expected." I do not believe we live up to that standard yet. We give more because we have more. Yet we could still give more! Perhaps this offers some clarity to my positions. Global poverty is a separte issue from American Unemployment or our love of stuff and debt.
Your points beautifully put. Your comment that there is a distinction between the systematically oppressed poor and someone who, in America, is temporarily broke, or burdened by incredible debt due to poor life's choices, is totally valid. Helping those at home that have this burden, to get out from under it, is noble. To a great extent this is why I am involved with Timber Bay. So much of the alienation that at-risk youth experience is because they, and or their parents, have made terrible choices. Bad things keep rolling down hill. Intervening and attempting to break this cycle of despair is our challenge. We do so looking for teachable moments to share the Gospel too. We give a coat and we give the security found in the arms of our Savior. The latter is most important of coarse. My ultimate point. You have addressed that perfectly.
ReplyDeleteI've taken you on a tangent introducing a critique of the insurance industry and our "American way of doing things." I just like to dig some. I am also burdened, since traveling to the Middle East, with how parochial my life's mindset has been. Seeing the poverty in Egypt and the West Bank has been more than eye opening. (This poverty is not "our fault.") I do think "we" have contributed a lot to the problem though. It has been mind blowing on many levels. I must admit to my paradigm filters having been completely adjusted or replaced. I am filtering the news, actions of our government, our methods of doing global business, very differently post traveling. I can no longer blindly cheer for Israel, nor can I condemn stone throwing young men out of hand. I am more balanced now. I find myself at odds with General Electric...and on and on. Interesting. Getting out of the nest can be dangerous on many levels. Yet, it is healthy. I highly recommend that you and Nicole, at some time in your lives, travel with a kingdom view in mind.
You are doing a good thing in your life, in your marriage, at your church, in your neighborhood. Debt, unstructured and due to careless living, is a threat to all and to the Body of Christ. You go Dan!
There is nothing wrong with being a local guy for the Lord. We can all do more. I am convinced you are heading towards doing more and I am very proud of you two for the vision you share. We can not carry the burdens of the world on our shoulders. That is God's job. So, we take the minars the Lord has given us and we use them as best we can for His purposes and His glory.
Keep writing Dan. You, like your father and mother, are good for me.
Thank you for the challenge. I had not systematically thought through the points that you bring up. It was an excellent exercise for me. Thank you also for your encouragment. It is interesting you brought America's Youth into the discussion. That is a passion that I have as a sub group of the victory over debt discussion. I am working through the church ministry on incorporating what I've learned and bringing it to the Jr./Sr. high students. Ramsey has a program for that as well. I'd love to be able to see young people catch the bad habits before they create a colossal mess of there financial lives. To catch them before they enter into the debt. It'd be awesome if they could jump right from Baby Step 1 ($1000 emergency fund) right to step 3 (fully funded emergency fund of 3-6 months living expenses). Then on to 3b (saving the down payment for a house). Then onto step 4 15% of income to retirment accounts. What would it look like if they never had to fight the war on debt in step 2. Anyways, that is just me dreaming about the future of our ministry. "Baby Steps" are compliments of Dave Ramsey.
ReplyDeleteOne last thought...can't help myself.
ReplyDeleteYou commented that our nation gives generously. I have no argument with that. I feel it can be statistically proven that we do.
It always amazes me that the poor give disproportionately more than the wealthy. Just today Vice President Joseph Biden's tax return showed that he earned somewhere in the $400,000 rage last year and gave only $5,600 to charitable causes. Mississippi ranks number one in the percentage of gross income given to charity. Go figure. If the rich continue to follow Mr. Biden's lead then perhaps they deserve to be taxed more. I would also suggest that much of our giving is compulsory in the form of wealth redistribution through the tax code. What monies go to foreign lands goes there inefficiently and often in the form of military might, which carries much negative political baggage. Still, we are more generous than any other nation. Those who hate the U.S. promote a false notion of our generosity.
You also indicated that the tithing, of those who call themselves followers of Christ, falls dramatically short of the 10% suggestion we find in Scripture. Certainly we all could do more and if we did, what a difference it would make. We have yet, as the one true Body of Christ, learned to give joyfully.
Here is my thought and I'll try to frame it in terms of a potential solution for the ultimate elimination of, or dramatic reduction in global poverty. My suggestion implies that we have bought into a false mindset, which is contrary in many ways to Scripture.
What if....
What if ALL of us decided against the purchasing of personal insurance? What if we changed our legal structure (our mindset as well) and dramatically reduced our dependency and belief in torte compensation? What if we all looked deeply into our souls and said, "I came into this world naked and I shall leave it naked." What if we looked at our families and we all agreed that sudden death would create a dramatic change and that we would embrace that change. What if we agreed that whatever those changes were, for good or for bad, that the Lord was in them and would lead us through providing for us. (Men and women have lived this way since the Fall.) What if we ALL took the money we spend on ALL insurance and instead of giving it to Prudential, Mutual of Omaha, Safeco, All State, State Farm, Northwestern Mutual, Geico, we invested it in micro businesses in poverty stricken lands. All ready there are organizations that exist specifically to distribute such monies. The success of micro economic loans has proven to be highly beneficial. How many cows, goats, sheep, sewing machines, tractors would all that money, which otherwise is invested in skyscrapers and conventional stock markets, purchase? How would that help change the world? I would suggest that even a small reduction in our dependency on insurance would have a staggeringly positive impact on global poverty. Would we not then be having a global impact by making a very local and personal decision? Would we not more clearly be living by faith?
No response required. Just a thought.